Can a Child Choose Which Parent to Live With in California?

Many parents believe that a child can decide which parent they want to live with once they reach a certain age; however, in reality, there is much more nuance that goes into this decision. If you have questions about how a judge determines parenting arrangements, speaking with an experienced Sherman Oaks child custody attorney can help you understand what factors may affect your case. When considering who a child lives with, the child’s desires may be taken into account, but ultimately the decision lies with the judge. 

Under California Family Code 3042, children above the age of 14 can share their opinion in court on who they would like to live with and why. While this may be helpful in some cases, the judge will have the final say in whether they believe this is in accordance with the child’s best interest, keeping that as their main priority. 

A Child’s Preference Is Not the Final Decision

Children often have preferences on who they would like to live with. This may be due to the relationship with each parent, where they feel safest, proximity to their school and friends, or siblings they live with. While these are important factors to consider, children generally lack the maturity required to look at a situation and consider their current and future best interests. 

It is not uncommon for a child to request to live with one parent over the other because of rules and discipline in each home. Oftentimes, children prefer a home that has fewer rules, even if that may not be the best decision for them overall. This also includes discipline. Assuming a child is not being abused, a judge may determine that a child is better off in a home with stricter rules and more discipline than one that is more relaxed.

Schedules and routines are often outlined in a parenting plan, but these plans are not effective unless both sides abide equally by the rules. While a child’s desires are important to consider, the final decision lies in the hands of the judge. 

What Judges Look for When Evaluating a Child’s Wishes

Not all statements from a child regarding where they would prefer to live are created equal. There are certain things a judge will look for when evaluating a child’s request. These can include:

• Whether the preference appears thoughtful and consistent
• If the child understands the responsibilities and realities of living primarily with one parent
• Whether either parent has attempted to influence or pressure the child
• The quality of the child’s relationship with each parent
• Whether the requested arrangement supports the child’s emotional well-being, education, and overall stability

California courts do emphasize parents not involving children in disagreements, so if it appears that a child has been pressured or manipulated into requesting to live with one parent over the other, that will be taken into account when determining their parenting time.

A Child’s Wishes May Be Considered, But Do Not Determine the Outcome

Creating an environment where your child can thrive should be the main priority of any parent, regardless of their primary residence. If a child shows emotional maturity and can demonstrate thoughtful reasoning on why they would prefer to live with one parent over the other, it is often considered. By working with a skilled child custody attorney in Sherman Oaks, you can begin to build a solid case to place your child in the best environment possible for them to flourish.