Know what to do if you’re experiencing domestic violence in California. Your safety is a priority. Call 911, and get to a safe place. Ask the police for an emergency protective order. This gives you 7 days to get a temporary restraining order before a hearing, which may result in a permanent restraining order that protects you for 5 years.
A Sherman Oaks domestic violence and restraining order lawyer can give you much-needed advice, and there are several organizations you can turn to if you are faced with additional problems like a need for temporary housing. What you should not do is allow yourself to be exposed to danger or to fall into a trap of self-blame. Take positive action instead.
How to Know if Your Situation is Classed as Domestic Violence
In California, the definition of domestic violence is very broad. It allows people who have reason to be afraid of someone close to them to take steps to protect themselves, ideally before they are in immediate physical danger. As you would expect, the definition of domestic violence captured in California Family Law Section 6203 includes causing or attempting to cause injury, and sexual assault.
However, it also includes situations in which you have reasons to fear direct physical violence, as well as a list of abuses found in Section 6320. The latter includes harassment, threats, deliberate damage to property, threats against children and animals, isolating or depriving a victim, stalking, and attempting to deprive women of their reproductive rights.
If you are seeing red flags but have not yet faced a direct physical attack, you could be in grave danger. Do not wait for the matter to escalate. Gather your evidence and get professional advice. Remember, an abuser does not have to be a spouse. They could be anyone close to you who is placing you at risk.
Mistakes to Avoid If You Are Experiencing Domestic Violence
Many people who are victims of domestic violence find themselves facing inner turmoil and self-doubt. Their confusion can lead them to make serious mistakes that can lead to escalated abuse later on. Mistakes to avoid include:
- Thinking it is your fault: It does not matter what you have done or failed to do; there is no excuse for unacceptable behavior on the part of someone close to you.
- Giving the abuser “another chance.” Abusers often experience remorse and promise to change. Almost as often, the abuse only gets worse.
- Isolating yourself and remaining silent. Doing this deprives you of help and places the power in the hands of your abuser. Even if you feel completely alone, there are people and organizations you can reach out to.
- Thinking that non-physical abuse does not “count.” Verbal and financial abuse count as domestic violence. Do not allow yourself to suffer needlessly. You have the power to make it stop.
- Failing to have an escape plan. If you are forced to flee for safety, you must have a plan. Know where you are going, know what you will do, and do not leave any clues your abuser can act on.
- Confronting or warning an abuser. A battle of words can lead to physical “retaliation.” Get support, involve professionals, and get to safety.
- Failing to gather evidence. Voice mails, texts, photographs, witnesses: if you can gather evidence without endangering yourself, it will help strengthen your case.
- Not invoking legal protections to help you. You can get a domestic violence restraining order for free. You can even get free representation, although hiring a private domestic violence attorney means they will have more capacity to handle your case thoroughly.
Our top piece of advice on what to do if you are experiencing domestic violence in California is to know that you are not as alone, unprotected, and powerless as you feel. Someone may be trying to make you feel that way, but it is a lie. Take the power back.